The Day I Decided to Listen to My Inner Voice
‘‘Shut up, you stupid little girl.’’
Those were the harsh words my grade four French teacher hurled at me after I dared to stand up for a classmate. All I wanted was to defend a friend who was being treated unfairly.
I remember lowering my head to my desk, tears blurring my vision.
Stupid little girl.
That cruel comment echoed in my mind far longer than I care to admit.
For years after, I was paralyzed by fear. I never raised my hand in class to ask a question, share an insight, or express my opinion. That voice inside me, urging me to speak up, had been silenced by a ten-year-old’s traumatic experience.
When I entered the workforce, I didn't question my academic advisor’s advice to work at a preclinical laboratory. He called it a “great opportunity” with “quick advancement” (the high turnover was a red flag I ignored).
Despite my five years studying animal sciences with dreams of veterinary school.
Despite the fact that I loved animals to the core of my being. I mean, I was the girl drawn and spellbound by every creature I came across.
I stifled my inner voice and took a job testing on defenseless laboratory rats. Even now, typing this, the memories and feelings flood my mind.
As a twenty-three-year-old, I was making decent money, but the work was soul-crushing, and completely heartbreaking.
I’d often hide in the utility closet for a good cry. It sounds crazy, but I loved those fuzzy white rats. I couldn't reconcile my actions with my love for animals. The idea that it was for advancing medicine didn’t ease my guilt or shame.
I hated myself for being part of it.
Yet, I stayed in that job for nearly three years, gripped by the fear that I had nothing else to offer. That I wasn’t smart or skilled enough for a job aligned with my values.
Everything changed when I decided to take a two-month unpaid leave to travel Australia, New Zealand, and Fiji.
Traveling alone, I joined a group tour with Contiki. Best decision ever.
That trip was eye-opening. I met wonderful people from around the world—U.S., England, Holland, Italy, Germany.
I was in YOLO mode before YOLO was a thing, signing up for every activity, swiping my credit card, and living my best life down under.
One unforgettable adventure was sailing the Whitsunday Islands in Australia.
Two sun-drenched days of sailing through turquoise lagoons, exploring coral-lined shores, watching shooting stars from the catamaran’s deck, and snorkeling vibrant reefs.
When I hear "paradise," I think of the Whitsundays. It was there, soaking in the moment and the sunshine, that time seemed to stand still.
Some call it an "aha" moment, a revelation, an epiphany.
For me, it was the sudden realization that I could be whoever I wanted to be. That I could reinvent myself again and again, until it felt right.
I wasn't trapped in that soul-sucking job forever. I had a choice—a privilege not everyone has.
Right then and there, I vowed to quit my job and find a career aligned with my values and passions. I promised to listen to my inner voice and trust it to guide me in the right direction.
I cast off that limiting label—a label that was bullshit anyway.
There have been many bumps along the road since then (and many more "ahas"), but that defining moment on that catamaran nearly twenty years ago led me to share this story with you.
Remember, it's never too late to reinvent yourself, pivot your career, or start anew. Don’t let labels or limiting beliefs hold you back from your dreams. No matter how wild or ambitious.
Your unique voice matters. And you have what it takes to make it happen.
Twenty years from now
You will be more disappointed by
The things you did not do
Than by the things you did do
So throw off the bowlines
Sail away from the safe harbor
Catch the trade winds in your sails
Explore
Dream
Discover
— Mark Twain
